Cold Outside
by Friends Babe
Summary: Alt Freefall. When the unthinkable happens will Elizabeth finally face her feelings? Cordano
1. Relaxation

Title – Cold Outside  
  
Rating – PG  
  
Spoliers - Some for 'Freefall' but only slight ones in future chapters for UK viewers.  
  
Summary - My version of 'Freefall', Cordano stylee!  
  
Authors Note - After watching 'Freefall' again last night I was struck by an idea for Elizabeth's last goodbye to Romano and started writing it. Halfway through however, I changed my mind and began writing something slightly different. It's the same concept, I just added this chapter at the beginning of the story! Enjoy!  
  
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Elizabeth breathed out as the patient was wheeled away from her. She needed the short space of time to catch her breath before the next one. Thinking she'd try and sleep for a few minutes before she was inevitably paged for some minor incident the residents could sort out. Sometimes she wondered why she even bothered going down there at all. She could just call and tell Pratt, or whomever else it was to give them some Ibuprofen and send them home. But she knew she never would. She wasn't Romano. As her thoughts turned towards him she pressed the elevator button, already looking forward to getting her head down. Romano hadn't been himself lately and she knew that his arm, or lack of it, was getting to him more than he'd admit. He was a strong man, he never let anything affect him in any way, but he wasn't made of stone. After their chat in the Surgical Lounge, and the direction it almost went in, she knew he was hurting. He wanted to save lives, help people. Not be stitching up cut fingers. The elevator doors opened up and Elizabeth strode purposefully towards the Lounge, ignoring anyone who shouted her name. As soon as she reached the couch she flipped off her shoes, already hurting her feet only four hours into what was turning into a double. As she wriggled her toes she felt her eyes flutter shut and the sleep take over.  
  
It was only later that she remembered the man who sat there beside her. And only weeks later that logic told her who it was.  
  
In the moment she only felt the warm presence of someone sitting beside her. The reassuring weight of a person, protecting her from anything. She only really felt the soft skin brushing against her cheek as a stray strand of hair was moved away in hindsight. In the moment she was never really there. She never really paid those feelings in the midst of her sleep, any attention. They were simply there, not to be analysed or picked at, but to be enjoyed. To be looked back upon whenever she felt the tears threatening her.  
  
It was hours later when she awoke. She could see nothing around her. No noise or movement. Only smoke. Thick and black. Engulfing the small lounge she slept in. Suddenly realising that she should not be here, not right now. Not amongst all this smoke she stood up and tried to think straight. The black smoke slowly filling the room around her caused her to cough as she raced out, frantically groping for the door handle. Anything to get her out. As the door gave way and she stumbled out, no longer caring what was causing this but simply wanting to leave it, she almost fell over a figure lying on the floor. Looking down she saw his face and had to resist the urge to vomit. Dorset was staring up at her, his face a bloody mess or cuts and burns. Elizabeth frantically felt for a pulse around any spare skin she could find. Feeling a weak beat she tried frantically to move him, but despite her weekly visits to a gym he wouldn't budge. As desperation took over she cried out. To anyone who would hear her. If there was even anyone left anymore.  
  
"Help!" the first word caused the acrid smoke to pour into her mouth and Elizabeth was taken over by the coughing. But she couldn't leave him here. She just couldn't. Despite their history she could not walk away and leave a man to die. She tried again, "Help me! Please!" And still no one came. The doors remained closed and the shallow and ragged breathing of the man beside her began to slow down. In the darkness of the corridor Elizabeth felt her eyes close again and the sleep she had so craved earlier try and take her again. She prayed for someone to run through the doors at that moment. Someone to take the situation out of her hands. She was a good surgeon. She could save lives, but not like this. She didn't want the responsibility anymore. Summoning up her last ounce of strength she cried out again,  
  
"Help! Please, help me..." And still no one heard her. 


	2. Haunting

Title – Cold Outside  
  
Rating – PG  
  
Spoliers - Some for 'Freefall' but only slight ones in future chapters for UK viewers.  
  
Summary - My version of 'Freefall', Cordano stylee! Elizabeth is asleep in the Surgical Lounge when the Chopper comes down. Can she come to terms with her own experience while trying to save the life of a loved one?  
  
Authors Note - After watching 'Freefall' again last night I was struck by an idea for Elizabeth's last goodbye to Romano and started writing it. Halfway through however, I changed my mind and began writing something slightly different. It's the same concept, I just added this chapter at the beginning of the story! Enjoy!  
  
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As the darkness surrounding her grew thicker and denser Elizabeth finally succumbed to it and breathed her last. But before her mouth could close around the smoke she felt the arms around her. Lifting her up, away from the hard floor that she suddenly realised she had been sitting on. Taking her away from Dorsett. Realising then that she was doing exactly what she'd stayed not to do, she was leaving him to die. She tried to fight against the strong arms carrying her away but she couldn't. Her strength had been drained minutes before that. She couldn't cope anymore. As she let the men take over the responsibility she closed her eyes and finally relaxed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Elizabeth sat up in her bed, her breathing shallow and ragged. She looked around her, expecting to see the same smoke and desperation that she had witnessed upstairs. But down here, wherever she was, there was nothing. The small room she was in was silent. The air she was breathing as fresh as you could get in Chicago. Elizabeth was inclined to simply sit back down and sleep, ignoring everything that had happened upstairs. Suddenly it hit her. Whatever had happened had happened upstairs. For all she knew the entire building could be on fire. And even if it wasn't she needed to know what was going on. Despite her better judgement she needed to know. Just as she was about to leap from her bed the door sprung open and Susan walked in, clipboard in hand.  
  
"OK, Dr Corday, how're we doing?" Normally Elizabeth would have expected the sentence to be delivered as a joke. As a colleague and friend who was clearly enjoying seeing her in a hospital bed. Today, however, that tone was absent. The line was delivered the same as it would be to any other patient. And Elizabeth needed to know why.  
  
"Susan, what's going on?"  
  
Susan paused then, not expecting the direct question. She had assumed Elizabeth would have known. She was found upstairs, she must surely have heard the crash, felt the heat of the fire, the noise as everyone ran to escape? One look at the surgeons face and Susan knew she honestly didn't know.  
  
"There was a crash. A chopper lost control and crashed into the side of the building before hitting the ground."  
  
Elizabeth paused before asking her next question, knowing she already knew the answer, "Where ... where did it hit?"  
  
"The 5th floor, right above the Surgical Lounge"  
  
Elizabeth didn't want to know any more about that. Not right now. At this present moment she needed to help. She'd already failed one person today, possibly even fatally. She needed to help the others. Without even looking at Susan she stood up and grabbed her charred trousers from next to her bed.  
  
"Elizabeth what are you doing?" Susan asked as Elizabeth pulled her oxygen mask off and yanked her trousers up around her.  
  
"How many casualty's are there?"  
  
"Elizabeth, I don't think you need to ..."  
  
"How many?"  
  
Susan sighed before relenting, "4 in the Chopper, all presumed dead. 20 plus on the ground. At least 12 serious. 16 from within. Mostly minor burns; they're being moved to other wards now."  
  
"OK, so where do you want me?"  
  
Susan contemplated arguing with her, but eventually decided against it. "Admit. You see anything requiring a consult, take it"  
  
Elizabeth didn't answer. She raced out of her room as soon as the words left Susan's mouth. She didn't know why she cared so much. She just knew that she did. She needed to feel useful right now, if only to take her mind off Dorsett's face, bleeding and alone. Abandoned. A face left alone to die by everybody else, a face that she couldn't save. No matter how hard she had tried to. Shaking off the feeling Elizabeth walked out towards the desk. The image that greeted her was one that would stay imprinted on her mind forever. 


	3. Dreaming

Title – Cold Outside  
  
Rating – PG  
  
Spoliers - Some for 'Freefall' but only slight ones in future chapters for UK viewers.  
  
Summary - My version of 'Freefall', Cordano stylee! Elizabeth is asleep in the Surgical Lounge when the Chopper comes down. Can she come to terms with her own experience while trying to save the life of a loved one?  
  
Authors Note - After watching 'Freefall' again last night I was struck by an idea for Elizabeth's last goodbye to Romano and started writing it. Halfway through however, I changed my mind and began writing something slightly different. It's the same concept, I just added this chapter at the beginning of the story! Enjoy!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Outside of the quite shelter of the private room Elizabeth found herself facing a nightmare situation. All around her people were running and shouting, searching desperately for people who weren't there. The expression on the face of every person she knew was one of shock, disbelief and anger. No one seemed quite sure what was going on, no one seemed to want to know. They all continued to move, the Staff almost robotically, occasionally breaking to yell more instructions to others. Remembering why she was there Elizabeth made her way over to the desk wanting more than anything to hear Frank's own sarcastic brand of humour. It wasn't there. Elizabeth stood silently waiting for the crash of the doors, signalling that she was needed. That people still needed any help she could give them. When it came she was not expecting it.  
  
"Male. Late 30's, early 40's. Outside when the Chopper came down. Minor burns but some blood loss from an open wound on his stomach" She heard a paramedic yell as they crashes chaotically into the silence. Almost without thinking Elizabeth rushed towards him, reeling off the words she knew all to well.  
  
"What are his vitals? How much blood has he lost?" Elizabeth continued like that. Saying the words but never really listening to the answers. She was too preoccupied with keeping the image of Dorsett's burnt face from her mind. She still didn't know where he was, or how he was. Or even if he was anymore. Deep down she knew it was unlikely that he'd survived but she clung to the hope that she's saved him. That she'd gotten to him on time. Running with the assorted paramedics, doctors and nurses into Trauma 1 Elizabeth finally looked down at the patient and before she knew what was happening her legs simply stopped functioning and she began to fall to the floor, the tears suppressed from earlier now a constant source. As she felt Abby's arms around her shoulders she gasped,  
  
"It's Robert. It's Robert" before her tears came again.  
  
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"Dr Corday I don't think it's a good idea"  
  
"I'm sorry Kerry but you don't have any choice" Noticing the questioning look on the doctors face Elizabeth continued, "I'm the only surgeon within reach right now. Dr Dorsett is ..." she felt her breath catch in her throat, she couldn't bring herself to say it, not yet, "... indisposed. Most of the other surgeons are either being treated themselves or working on another patient somewhere. If you want him to live then you're stuck with me" Elizabeth felt Dr Weaver step aside and she took that as her cue to move forwards. Trying desperately to pretend that this was any other patient she barked her orders out, "OK Robert, I know you probably hate this but you're just going to have to accept that you need out help OK?" Elizabeth didn't even know why she was talking to him, he was unconscious, couldn't even hear her. But she knew somewhere that she needed to. For herself more than anyone else  
  
"Elizabeth?" she heard someone mutter.  
  
"It's alright Robert. I'm going to get you through this OK?" Taking a deep breath she moved her focus away from his face and continued, "I need an amp of epi and 2 litres O-neg, there's no time for type specific. And I need a room cleared for surgery, he's going to need it"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sitting by his bed in the dark Elizabeth felt herself draw towards him. His eyes were still clamped shut, the sedation wouldn't wear off for another hour but Elizabeth felt sure he was dreaming, hopefully about something nice, something as far away from reality as he could possibly get. Elizabeth wasn't sure how much of the accident he remembered, whether it was all blank, or whether he could still feel the fear grip his heart as he saw what was happening ... she didn't want to think about it. But she knew when he woke up he would ask questions, Robert always asked questions. But she wasn't sure if she wanted to be the one to give the answers.  
  
Unsure of how to behave in the private room, one usually reserved for relatives, Elizabeth shifted her weight in the hard plastic chair and leaned forward, resting her elbows on the crisp white sheets. Just as she felt her eyelids begin to drop she hard the door slowly creak open,  
  
"Dr Corday? Sorry to disturb you but your nanny just called"  
  
Elizabeth almost leapt out of her seat. Ella. She'd completely forgotten Ella. Standing and turning sharply towards the nurse she opened her mouth to speak but was silenced before she had the chance,  
  
"It's OK. I explained everything to her. She says she'll keep an eye on Ella tonight and bring her in to you tomorrow. You've got the day off"  
  
Elizabeth didn't have the energy to protest, or even to ask who was covering her shift for the next day. She simply sank back into her chair and without realising took his hand in her own, gently stroking it as she laid her head down by his side. Finally resting. 


End file.
